Talk:Suicide
Needs attention: grammar A lot of text has been added to this article that doesn't make much sense in English. There are numerous disjointed sentences that don't seem to have any connection to the rest of the paragraph they are in. Any help to make the article more readable would be appreciated. The problem seems to be the writer's unfamilarity with dependent clauses and compound sentences. For example, some sentences i've tried to correct begin with "Although" and "Rather" even though there is no counterpoint that the text is presented to be 'rather than' or 'although to'. This is probably stemming from an incomplete education of English composition on the part of the editor(s) responsible. As I said, it would be helpful if other editors could try to correct these shortcomings when people try to add such substandard writing, or if the editors involved could seek out some editing help. -- Captain MKB 12:40, June 19, 2010 (UTC) :For example, if anyone could translate these confusions into English: "''Malcolm Reed, in defiance of Jonathan Archer's order attempted to cut off his last supply of oxygen. This was for his captain to save himself, getting back inside the NX Enterprise. Before the Romulan mine attached to the hull detonates, as Reed's leg was impaled against it. ''" :Doesn't make sense to me -- too many clauses, and no clue who is being referred to by the word "his" since both people describes are "he"???? -- Captain MKB 02:37, January 13, 2011 (UTC) ::This kind of thing (editing ESL English writing) is my job, so I went and rewrote that bit, and picked out a few things to fix up to that point. It could do with more work though. – BadCatMan 04:03, January 13, 2011 (UTC) :I appreciate any efforts made ... bringing this article in line with understandability in regular English is a huge task, and it's good to have a competent contributor making efforts on that behalf... -- Captain MKB 04:22, January 13, 2011 (UTC) ::I went over the first few sections again more closely and made some edits, checked for accuracy and developed somethings, and will try to do more at a later date. It also gave me an opportunity to work on my Orions. :) ::However, I couldn't confirm these lines: "Likewise, Dominion forces were trained to do this whether the odds are in favor or not, to express the seriousness of their cause to their enemies. (DS9 episode: "Treachery, Faith, and the Great River" , DS9 episode: "The Jem'Hadar")" and "Romulans have practiced suicide since the founding of their empire. When there is no other option but surrender, a Romulan commander (or Centurion) must carry out the final duty. (TOS episode: "Balance of Terror")" Are these specifically mentioned somewhere? :: Note to self: up to Attempted, The Pirates of Orion. – BadCatMan 05:49, January 13, 2011 (UTC) :::And done! Between User:Doug86, User:Gilder and myself, we've gotten this page up to a readable standard. It could still do with some sorting into chronological order and fact-checking/adding, of course. Thanks all! :::A very depressing job though. :( -- BadCatMan 06:35, May 19, 2011 (UTC) Needs attention: ordering The long lists here are not in chronological order, they seem to be in random order, obviously the major contributor here took no steps to organize this information or respond to the attention messages and talk comments regarding disjointed articles. I think chronological order would make sense, and should be considered a goal for the eventual cleanup of the article. In particular, i'm having trouble finding reference to Rota Sevrin's suicide, i'm going to have to use a browser search feature to scroll to the correct portion. -- Captain MKB 22:53, July 3, 2010 (UTC) :I agree with that, though skimming down the lists in each section they seem to already be in chronological order? --8of5 01:02, July 4, 2010 (UTC) I have to say you are in error. When I found Sevrin's 2269 death, it was after Decker (2267) and before Kodos (2266, and not entirely suicidal in my opinion), and in my skim i found various other dates intermixed. -- Captain MKB 01:14, July 4, 2010 (UTC) :Didn't spot those, but I did only look quickly and for the most part it seems correct. In addition to correcting any errors that are present it might also be useful to add further sub-divisions to the page, as it is quite a long list of detailed entries, maybe further dividing by the type of suicide? --8of5 01:20, July 4, 2010 (UTC) ::I'd say that would be a sensible way to digest the data and resolve the 'attention' message. -- Captain MKB 01:22, July 4, 2010 (UTC) :Perhaps someone might consider sortable tables. --Savar 15:13, January 13, 2011 (UTC)